Officially. The date… the 23rd of July 2011. I can now actually claim the redundant title of ‘MarriedWife’ 😉
The day was beautiful – not a breath of wind, the winter sun shining gently and instead of dowsing any nerves with champagne or sedatives, I spent it jovially having breakfast with a friend at the guesthouse I was booked into, then checking in on the venue and cake-assembly, followed by my hair appointment which was relaxing – drinking lattes and surrounded by my three best friends, two of whom had travelled from afar just to be there for the day and the other, my bridesmaid.
Once done, I sent my co-conspirators on a mission to obtain a banana, vanilla and almond smoothie while I popped into the bank to draw some money, after which I chauffered myself back to the guesthouse with my bridesmaid in tow, at which point we commenced to sit on the sundeck talking nonsense while I finished the smoothie. I was so calm infact, that when the photographer made an appearance, she queried whether I had moved the time of the wedding to a later slot?!?
After applying my make-up, getting dressed and posing for a few photos – the rest of my entourage arrived. Namely, my son [the pageboy or ‘ringmaster’ as he termed it], the flowergirls, my brother [the bestman – who needed the transport], my two friends, my mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and the maid, Beauty! After a few photos in the lush gardens, it was time to head forth. I had promised my ‘husband-to-be’ that this would be the one instance that I would most definitely be ON TIME. But alas, my mother who had fallen into position of ‘bride chauffer’ decided that it was unfashionable to arrive either early or on time – and that it was customary to arrive at least 5 minutes late!! After possibly the slowest drive of my entire life and my mother actually cursing the non-appearance of ‘red lights’ and then still choosing as a last ditched attempt to delay the inevitable – by going into an abandoned parking lot en-route…and doing donuts?!
We arrived at what must have been about 15H32, with the wedding having been scheduled to start at 15H30. Apparently I wasn’t the only one running “late”, as my Aunt and Uncle decided to show up after I had been met by my father, posed for photos and even after having given a strategic breakdown of the ‘grand entrance’ to the ‘mothers’, my sister-in-law with the two flowergirls and my bridesmaid. In their scurry past us in order to make it to their seats, they had still attempted a greeting, at which point I ‘shoed’ them off and cursed under breath at their being late!!! Once my Aunt and Uncle as well as the remainder of the bridal party had precursored my entrance, as I had envisioned this grand dramatic moment of silence at the back end of the aisle, followed by the start of the wedding march…but alas, I experienced what felt like an eternity of silence before my future husband began waving his arms frantically to cue the DJ to start the song.
It was possibly, if not definitely – the ‘fastest’ recorded marriage service in the history of the world, but beautiful and effective none-the-less. After which we signed the register and walked back down the aisle. Everyone however, remained seated. Awkwardly some of them turned their heads to view where we had exited to, at which point I simply flapped my arms about, gesturing them to stand and proceed with moving out of their seats, as the service had not been performed in a chapel, but out on a verandah overlooking the harbour, the overall tone was rather relaxed – so I don’t think they really took too much notice. I received what felt like 1 000 hugs and kisses, which was rather wonderful yet bizarre and left my lips feeling awfully numb 😛
After downing a cocktail, we briefly departed for the official photoshoot – which took place on an old railway bridge and railway tunnel, accompanied by my husband, brother [bestman] and my friend [bridesmaid]. After much posing, more kissing and some weird photo ops with random passing-by-ice-cream-vendors… my brother received a rather menacing phone call from my mother, who was expressing something or other rather loudly, but at my enquiry, my brother chose to tell me that the guests were impatient and that we were taking too long with the photos. After our entrance into the reception, I was accosted by my mother… at the bridal table, right up on the stage – albeit in a very quiet and underhanded manner, “about how my father was simply incapable of saying a speech and how dare I NOT have mentioned this to them well in advance so that she could have advised against it”. I took a deep breath and momentarily excused myself from the table, escaped to the upstairs deck, had a cigarette and ordered both my mother and father a shot of tequila. Everything after that was just dandy 🙂The rest of what happened is nearly as long winded as this beginning bit, but to say that I was truly blessed, would be the understatement of the year… Without so many helpful and loving hands to hold, help with the hard work and heavy lifting and those very much needed hugs, it would not have been nearly as awesome. My two special friends who undertook a great trek of their own, just in order to be by my side on this day made the whole experience far better than it possibly would have been, without them there. The table arrangements came out perfectly, the evening was mild, the food divine, the cake heavenly and the company even better than all of that combined, what with these ingredients forming part of the perfect recipe for joy, love, happiness, fun and sheer enjoyment 🙂 Plus, I’m married now.
And guess what, so far… it’s been everything the ‘happy wives’ have said it would be 🙂 Now wait until you hear about the honeymoon!